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Saturday 18 November 2017

Notes From a Hibernating Mood (coming up for nuts, 2)

There comes a time in a man's life - at least in this man's life - when he becomes tired of many things. He becomes tired of thinking about everything. Of concepts, ideas. Views and opinions. He becomes tired of 'the world'.

I have done my homework - at least enough to get the overall drift. I have seen that 'the world' - that matrix of social, cultural, economic, and political matters - is not a random accident. I have seen that, although there have been a few ups and downs, and while the technology has moved on, still it hasn't much changed over thousands of years. I sometimes take the Romans as a pragmatic starting point, but the thing goes back much further really.

This matrix has no intention of resolving itself into harmony, peace, human fulfilment. If 'world peace' genuinely was a priority above all else, it would be achieved during the course of a weekend. No, the juggernaut requires conflict for its own survival. Conflict and ignorance - which is a polite, abstracted word for stupidity. It is abundantly clear that increasing stupidity is the name of the slave game. You only need to look for six seconds at how smartphones for eight-year-olds are quietly approved (poor bloody modern kids), while anything which may seriously increase a person's sense of self-fulfilment and knowledge is either suppressed, demonised, or made into a criminal offence. Direct contact with the sacred, the divine, is the biggest danger to the status quo, and is out.

Yes, I am tired of views and opinions. If the digital revolution has taught anything, it is that everybody has views and opinions. And if it has taught anything else, it is that nearly all those views and opinions are, in one way or another, toxic. I steer totally clear of the easiest channels of all for the public venting of toxicity - Facebook, Twitter, etc: 'social media'. But read even a well-considered article, be it in the mainstream or alternative, and the comments section will be full of vile crap spewed out by unhappy people.

I have lost sight of why I should have views and opinions about most stuff. It eludes me. I conclude that people do it as a means of defining 'who I am'. What sort of person I am. I don't like Trump, therefore I am a decent, tolerant, caring kind of person, who believes in equality and justice. All this sort of ridiculous nonsense. Ego-definition. This is who I am. I can go to bed safe and secure in my identity. As for me, I have no wish to play this game any more.

Views and opinions. It seems one of the lowest of careers, sitting in an office or at home writing down your own prejudiced opinions, then making money by getting them published in a newspaper. Why should I have views and opinions on things which I can not really influence? Why? Why? I find no answer. If I had young children, I might feel a bit different, because of personal responsibility towards a fledgling human being who needs my assistance in getting into nest-flying shape. Even windfarms, which I may fantasise I can do a little to change, maybe. But for the rest????

All this, I suppose, forms the basis for hibernation mode in the Vortex. I am over 'thinking about', and don't - or didn't - know where to go, apart from for a long walk in the desert. I tried to find 'another voice' but it didn't come. I have realised, however, since declaring hibernation, that there is a way which I like. I shall not write much on 'thinking about'. Instead, I shall focus on 'describing'. What actually goes on, what happens. The magic, the mystery, the beauty and the horror of what is actually happening is more than enough.